Bad Internet

Saturday, February 24, 2007

I just need to stay off the internet. After a great apt. with Diane who told me that the baby was great, my diet was great and my blood sugar numbers were awesome, I realized it had been awhile since I scared myself to death googling info on GDM. So I promptly found some blogs written by pregnant chicks with GDM whose numbers were WAY below mine - and they had been put on insulin by their doctors. This the the first solid week (I've been on the diet for 6 weeks now) that my fasting numbers have been consistently under 100 - maybe twice they have been under 90. My post-prandiallalala #s have mostly been under 120. But there was this one time, after we cracked open Anthony Bourdain's Les Halles cookbook and made petite filets and bistro fries, the numbers sneaked up to 135. Diane said it was cool. And as long as my doctor is not freaking out, I know I shouldn't be. This is the first week since I started the diet that I finally gained some more weight - and this is on at least a 2000 calorie diet. The baby is not hulking out.

But in last night's dream, we had a boy. or kinda sorta. he was a hermaphrodite. And one leg was shorter than the other. And he had a gigantic ass covered with hair. We still hadn't named him after a day - apparently 'Magnificent Sweazy" was our top choice - but kiddo informed us that he was going to start working out as soon as possible to try and lose some of the baby back.

No more googling until baby comes.

p.s. Why is it that with every boy dream I have, he speaks in complete sentences?

HUGE

Tuesday, February 20, 2007


There you have it. That is what 34 weeks looks like. And please note the bruise. Call me crazy, but I think the squirmer did enough damage in my innards to leave a mark. Sure felt that way.

UP at 4 this morning, my first real bout of insomnia. Forgot to take off the wedding ring and the Crystal Light I insisted on sucking down before bed gave me Super Mario hands. Hurt like crazy. And now this weird pain in both boobs, under the rib cage. Googlage revealed that 1) my rib cage is expanding along with my entire pelvis 2) baby is doing a handstand and has wedged its foot under my ribs or 3) I'm in my 3rd trimester and should accept any bizarre pain with zen buddha-like tolerance. And then I was starving, so I shrugged on the bathrobe, ate some toast and peanut butter and wrote until Caleb got up at 6. Then promptly napped until 9. They say the insomnia is Mother Nature's way of preparing mom for a future of sleepless nights. I'm with Jill. Mother Nature is so totally a dude.

Holy Crap

Monday, February 19, 2007


I'm 34 weeks pregnant. This means that it is completely within the realm of possibility that I could become a mom anytime from today to 6 weeks from now. Because of the diabetes, I will not be allowed to go over my due date of April 4th, so there you have it. Baby is coming soon. All I've talked about is how great it would be if the baby, being the antsy little squirmer they are, decided to hurry up and join the party here. But now as the realization of what that means is dawning, after we attend our 3rd childbirth class tonight, as we assemble the final pieces of the nursery, I'm still anxious for baby to get here, but maybe just slightly less so. So much change and chaos and the unknown looming. But man I can't wait to see what's been cooking in here all these months.

At my last drs. appt Diane did a manual inspection of my belly and pronounced that she thought the baby felt "big." Not gestational diabetes big - my blood sugar numbers are fine - but big. Sweazy babies are famously on the big side, so I fully expected the woman doing the ultrasound to fall out of her seat in shock after getting a look at our little one. But she gestimated 4 lbs. 6 oz. - exactly the weight he/she is supposed to be. Of course, there is a 10-15% margin of error.

Oh - and why I love my husband? Last Wed was Valentine's Day, and he got me a heart, pictured above. He also got up at 6 AM and walked the dog for an hour in below freezing temps so I wouldn't have to. I love me that man.

lately

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

The past week has been all about school. Last week was my four hour gestational diabetes class where I learned some helpful things, like how to use the glucose meter (doesn't hurt at all) and where I learned some not so helpful things, like how the nutritionist on staff had never heard of hummus or pilates or falafel and felt McDonald's was fine on the GD diet. So I'm mushing together what I learned there with my LA nutritionist and making a go of it on my own. The glucose meter is realy easy to use but insanely expensive. I'm supposed to check my blood sugar 4 times a day by pricking my finger and wicking the blood on this little strip. Those little strips are a dollar a pop and only come like 15-20 to a canister, so I'm gonna have to fork over some serious cash to keep this up. So far my numbers have been pretty good. The trick has been to get cardio everyday which entails me dressing up like a kid on her first snowday to take Murphy on an hour walk. The snow from last Friday is still on the ground - it's that f-ing cold. If it weren't for this diet, Murphy would have to be content running around the backyard and barking at dogs from inside our cosy, warm house.

Last night was our first childbirth class. Caleb mentioned that every guy at work - and dad's friends that we bumped into at dinner afterwards - said the same thing. Class shmass. Just make sure she asks for the drugs. But I'm glad we're going, I think mainly just for the men to get a better understanding of what is going on inside of our bodies. I got to see what 10 centimeters dilated looks like - it's like a kiddie pool decorated with the flames of hell along its sides.

Like a good student, I will be asking for the drugs.

funny dreams

Saturday, February 3, 2007

last night I dreamed that my son was here in town but kept in a nursery until I, still visibly pregnant, gave birth to him. Maybe it was him in spirit form. Anyhow, I was able to sneak in and visit him one night. He didn't know who I was - he called me Danielle, apparently confusing me with the camp counseloresque woman in charge of him - apparently they were riding horses the next morning and he was VERY excited about that. But I told him I wasn't Danielle but his...mommy. His face lit up in recognition of the word and he seemed very excited at the prospect of having a mommy, but I sensed he was still a bit attached to this Danielle character. I figured it would both take us some time to get to know each other.

Later in the dream my water broke, and I frantically called several salons to see if I could come in for a blowout. Good to know my priorities are in order.

Dylan!


My beautiful, hysterically funny friend Jill and her equally hilarious, adorable husband Michael welcomed their baby Dylan to the world after 30 hours of labor and a malfunctioning epidural. She says she won't tell me the whole story until after my delivery, but I'm hoping to get the nitty gritty. It's been so fun having close friends charting the pregnancy waters - so to speak - but I have discovered one downside.

No way is our kid gonna come looking as cute as that. After Avery and now Dylan, the bar has been set ridiculously high. I mean, I'm gonna love our baby, squishy and pointy headed and gooey and all. But damn if those 2 didn't come out paparazzi ready!