Monday, March 14, 2011
This may be the only view of our home that does not look like a Hoarders intervention in progress. As soon as Caleb clones himself or just agrees to let me put cocaine in his morning coffee, we will be the proud owners of a homemade island top, a bar fashioned out of an old fireplace, a media center likely built out of the old island top, quite possibly my desk, and lord only knows what genius but extremely labor-intensive idea strikes next. I fully expect him to take up crocheting our 9x12 living area rug just to thumb his nose at those corporate numbers with cheaply produced, third-world reproductions at low costs and dreamy, super fast shipping...
Until then, our home is the big fat pregnant nesting lady's nightmare.
Don't get me wrong. I love this man for his dedication to his craft (and our bank account). LOVE. But I hope he won't be too surprised when he comes home to find I've hired some local fellas to liberate every box, every extra piece of furniture and cardboard and dishtowel (I clearly have a dishtowel problem) out into the street so I no longer have to graze them with my belly. I think he was duly warned when I waddled over and sobbed on his shoulder after making the mistake of trying to put on pre-pregnancy jeans on my current super-sized self. The hormones are swift, vicious, and completely in control.
God knows when our cavepeople ancestors were preparing for the birth of their kiddos, mama Cavelady was wiping that cave down with the mania of an obsessive-compulsive off her meds. Sure Cavedaddy was busting his ass trying to get that space ready, but he was simply no match for the nesting instinct that took his once lovely bride and blew her up into a bloated, cranky, JUST.THROW IT. AWAY shrew.
Even if the baby does come early and we have to bring him/her home to the chaos, we will manage. I'm sure the managers at the West Elm outlet won't mind making a little room for me on their display Lorimer sectional with complimenting Madison dresser/changing table and 2 x7 zig zag rug in ivory/flax/ clay.