This photo has nothing to do with this post. But it makes me happy. So there.
My child is not sleeping much. This fact dominates my walking hours and plagues the sleeping ones. It's causing a toll on my mental health, my appearance, my marriage, and my overall well being. I've been wanting to open up about it here, as it is what I do,
We all have the woman in the Ganges River. She is the person who has it worse than you. She is the woman who brings her five children down to the fetid river to bathe and drink and she would curse her horrific, cosmic joke of an existence if only she had the time to do it because one of her kids just tried to drown another and she has to walk the six miles back to her shared hut barefoot before sundown.
So how dare I complain that the defining drama in my life is a baby who is still getting up 2-3 times a night (and napping only 30 minutes a time)? Hell, other moms in my circle have older kids who still don't sleep through the night, and D is only five months old.
I shouldn't complain.
But I was at birthday party this morning, chatting with parents as our kiddos bounced and ate cupcakes, and one dad, tellingly referring to his cherub of a 10 month old as The Beast, said he is still up 2-3 times a night and then raring to go at 5 AM.
5 fucking AM. It's supposed to get better from here, right?
It was the most depressing thing I ever heard.
I know. Ganges, right? She is hobbling after her four kids (she just lost one somewhere in the market), and she's all, you want depressing? I'll take your 4 hours of sleep, lady, and make you a g*ddamn rainbow out of it.
But it's bringing me down low. I can't help it.
I've been reading books and downloading pdfs and consulting online sleep gurus, getting one school of thought here and the complete opposite there. Some assure me that exclusively breastfed kids can sleep from 7 to 7, while friends swear that formula is what set them free. A lot advocate crying it out, and none offer answers as to what to do if said baby then wakes up the 4 year old, the only sound sleeper in the house. But I have been trying arm myself with knowledge, a plan, something to try and change this current situation as my family is having a hard time functioning. I'm having serious memory problems and trouble staying patient with the 4 year old. I know things will eventually get better, but eventually makes me feel powerless and dumb and so, so tired.
So my apologies to the lady in the Ganges for bitching about my big fucking deal.
I just want some sleep.