I remember many years back hearing about Meg Ryan adopting a daughter, naming her, and then maybe a year later, changing the kid's name to something else. Because, according to Meg Ryan, she just wasn't a Lily or a Ruby but was now whatever new name had caught her fancy.
It seemed a weird if not potentially cruel thing to do, but perfectly in keeping with celebrity whimsy. I mean, they can't wear the same dress twice. Why would we expect them to stay true to their progeny's given name?
So where am I going with this?
It's not that I don't like my son's name.
I just wasn't my first choice.
My first choice was something that Caleb wouldn't get on board with, but Declan was his favorite. The more I said Declan out loud and in my head, it grew on me, and his first choice combined with my second seemed like the winner.
The baby came, the baby was named, and most of the family seemed to like it, even more than my first choice.
And six months later, I read about the impending birth of an acquaintance's son, baby Fox.
It was a like a punch to the gut.
It was the name I wanted for my son. It was cute and irreverent and a name I'd loved since my obsession with the X Files and all things Fox Mulder. Coupled with one of my favorite movies, The Fantastic Mr. Fox, the name just seemed ideal for the newest Sweazy.
But there was the fear of a lifelong deluge of Fox stuffed animals and figurines that I would have to haul by the sackload after each birthday and Christmas. The inevitable playground taunt that would send my little Fucks Sleazy home crying. (Fucks and Harlot, what a pair, right?)
But still. Fox!
I'm not sure what makes me sadder - that gut realization I should have fought harder for the name or that I have a much larger issue with not being confident with the choices I have made.
My Declan is my Declan. It's a great name. And let's be honest, there's a reason all that bureaucratic red tape exists because of flip floppers like me. I'll take my baby D over months of paperwork with the social security and birth certificate offices.
Any of you have a name that was the Name that Got Away?